September 2013 The Art of Letting GoEach September, my daughter, an only child, would pose with a hand-drawn sign that said “First Day of School.” Excitement and nervousness would play across her face as I snapped her photo. Initially, she attended a co-op preschool where the parents rotated working in the classroom. My presence may have eased her jitters, but I was a wreck the first time I had to walk away and leave her behind. Kindergarten was even harder —for me. I recovered, and packed as much writing as I could into the few hours she was in class. But the most heart wrenching first day of school occurred post-divorce, when my ex-husband and I alternated custody. Our daughter’s first day of high school coincided with his custodial week. Would he remember to take her photo? What would she wear? Would he get her to the bus on time? Then came college, when sending her off to school meant dropping her off at the Oakland Airport. By that time, I had already experienced Empty Nest Syndrome every other week for four years. So I pretended she was at her father’s house, not across the country. The ploy worked for a short time. Although I possess an active imagination (just read my Teen Wytche Saga!), even I couldn’t continue the pretense forever. Eventually I had to face my daughter’s departure for what it was — a Rite of Passage for both of us. Rites of PassageRites of Passage mark the end of one way of being, and the beginning of a new way. Some we celebrate; others we grieve over. Sometimes the concoction is a bittersweet. We know the passage is for the best, and yet we resist change. The Fear Factor and Mirror MagicFear for our children and for ourselves influences how we react to sending a child off to school. We may fear for our daughter or son’s safety, success, or popularity. For ourselves, we may fear the loss of our place in the world and be challenged by “What now?” The higher our fear factor, the harder it is to let go. Teach your child to envision herself/himself surrounded by a silver egg or bubble. Make sure they extend it above their head, below their feet, in front and behind, and to the left and to the right. Think of the silver bubble as a mirror that deflects all evil and dark intent and sends it back to the person who unleashed it. Your child can draw the bubble close so it molds them like pliable full-body armor. How Bright is Your Sun?A child with a strong sense of self is better equipped to make wise decisions and shrug off peer pressure. Acknowledge when your child is able to do something he or she couldn’t accomplish when they were younger — ride the bus, find their classroom, etc. To foster self-reliance, teach your child this simple visualization:
Honoring and Success RitualThe final step in the Art of Letting Go is an Honoring and Success Spell. You can perform this alone or with your child.
(If possible and safe, keep the candle lit until it burns down. Otherwise, snuff it out when need be, and relight when possible. Repeat for 1, 3, or 5 days until the candle has extinguished itself.) ~Ariella Moon Source for days of the week and color correspondences: Dorothy Morrison, The Craft, Llewellyn Publications, 2001. |